I have been watching "Friends" since the dawn of my adolescence and, of course, absolutely adore it. Though ubiquitous, there was always something personal and unique beneath the shroud of universality: Ross and Rachel might have been the quintessential "will-they-won't-they" relationship, but our generation will forever characterize said relationship with a rankled cry of "WE WERE ON A BREAK!" and fondly remember David Schwimmer swap his sweater for a Rachel-sized "Frankie Say Relax" shirt. One of the show's most beloved characters was the dimwitted, womanizing, and pizza-loving Joey, who still makes writers simultaneously laugh and cringe with one particular B-plot. After being asked to write a letter of recommendation for Chandler and Monica's adoption agency, Joey--fearing his language is too simplistic--goes back through his letter, highlights every other word, and replaces it with a thesaurus-provided synonym. This results in the following letter:
Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!Chandler: On every word?Joey: Yep!Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
Not only is this hysterical, it is a perfect example of the mutilation writers can commit when equipped with a thesaurus. I still rue the day Word installed the tool on its program: its presence only allures writers into swapping suitable words for more sophisticated-sounding synonyms. While Joey's letter is on the extreme end of the synonym spectrum (I call this zone Purple Prose Purgatory), his flagrant abuse of the thesaurus mirrors the constant synonym-shoehorning many writers are guilty of. And, yes. I too was guilty of it.
Before we explain just why even subtler cases of synonym-shoehorning is damaging to prose, let us first explore the word "connotation". To those who haven't filled out packet after packet of literary vocabulary in interminable English classes, connotation refers to the idea or sensation a certain word evokes in the context of its literal definition. For example: dirty might elicit light disgust, but filthy conjures repulsion from the reader, as we equate filthy with "grosser" mental imagery. A dirty dog has probably tramped through a garden; a filthy dog has probably rolled in the mud and its own waste, and is currently trekking it through the house. Connotation is extremely important within the context of a particular sentence, as it can alter the message and intention of a sentence with a single word.
The example I like to use to explain connotation in a sentence is the word scold. Scold has three common synonyms: admonish, reprimand, and berate (if you have an SAT vocab book, I'm sure you know many more). At face value, these words appear to be interchangeable. However, once we plug them into a sentence, they change the original message. For example: "Miss Benson scolded Josh for being boisterous and distracting during the lesson." Scold, in this scenario, is perfectly fine. It isn't unnecessarily harsh (though there isn't much detail, we assume that Josh is old enough to understand why he is being scolded) and it clearly states what Miss Benson was doing and how she felt about it (the use of "scold" rather than "talked to").
Swap "scold" for one of its synonyms: "Miss Benson admonished Josh for being boisterous and distracting during the lesson." Admonish is the only synonym that fits the sentence. It is defined as "to rebuke mildly" or to "advise someone not to do something again", which is faithful to the original sentence. Miss Benson isn't going to stand there and harangue Josh for being a distraction. She's going to inform him of what he did wrong and send him on his way.
Now let's try "reprimand". "Miss Benson reprimanded Josh for being boisterous and distracting during the lesson." While reprimand doesn't conotate harsh or vituperative language, it is too formal for the scenario. Reprimand suggests scolding in a more professional environment, such as the workplace or the army, and doesn't quite gel with the classroom setting of this sentence.
Finally, let's see what "berate" does to the sentence. "Miss Benson berated Josh for being boisterous and distracting during the lesson." Something seems off about this sentence: would a schoolteacher really "berate" a student for being rambunctious? Berate insinuates a prolonged and vicious rebuking. Hopefully, Miss Benson isn't screaming at Josh for half an hour (unless, of course, her low salary and growing intolerance of children has led to a breakdown and now she can't stop yelling). This is a prime example of how a single word can transform how a sentence reads and sounds in the context of a paragraph.
Sometimes, though, connotation can make a sentence sound more interesting. Stephen King is the master of replacing typical descriptive nouns and verbs with unusual synonyms (one of my favorite being a "rind of mood" instead of a crescent). Did they walk in or waltz in? Or maybe traipse? Is that window foggy or buttery? It's up to the writer to decide which word to use that best communicates a certain idea or feeling. I'd advise reading the sentence aloud and avoiding the thesaurus unless you're seeking some alternatives to a word that might express your idea better. Go with your gut. The first word you write down is often the best choice.
Hopefully, you haven't resorted to Joey Tribbiani-level prose mutilation for the sake of sounding intelligent. Writing doesn't have to sound sophisticated or well-read to be "good": good is subjective. Crafting prose that flows and clearly communicates a certain concept is often the "good" we seek in writing--and if you keep your synonyms straight, you'll be able to achieve this with practice, prompt exercise, and abstinence from that thesaurus icon.
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